Making the decision to end a relationship can be difficult. 


Making the decision of how to handle your divorce (and following that course) can be an even greater challenge. 


In CA there are different ways to separate or divorce. The biggest determination is if your separation will be amicable and both parties can come to an agreement, or if there will be litigation. If one party is set on going to court and agreements around custody, child support, splitting of assets, and spousal support are not possible, you will find yourself needing to appear before a judge. 


In Alameda County, even among the most contentious of divorce proceedings, many parties find that their greatest enemy is the Alameda County Family Law courts; not their Soon To Be Ex (STBE).


With this in mind, mediation or arbitration are often the best routes for a quick and fair separation or divorce. If there is no other option and you need to go through the Alameda County Family Law system, be advised of the following:

  • Family Law in Alameda County is subjective.
    • Different judges can give entirely different answers and responses to the same questions, impacting your case.
  • There is no logic in the courtroom; the law is very loosely followed.
    • You may have a solid case with hard, factual evidence; this may or may not be looked at depending on the judge, or how the judge is feeling that day. The same judge can treat different parties completely differently from one hearing to the next for no apparent reason.
  • It is highly likely that your case will be continued and delayed.
  • Appearing before more than one judge before your divorce is finalized is common given the high turn-over rate of judges in Alameda Co. More information can be found here.
  • The judge may or may not allow you to present your case. 
  • You will likely be referred to a court-appointed mediator and/or Child Custody Recommending counselor (repeatedly).
    • The people employed to fill these roles in Alameda Co. are generally of low caliber and not a person you want influencing the biggest parts of your life (work, family, etc)
  • The result of going to court is a toss-up; generally, nobody gets what they requested or feel they deserve.