Once you have made the decision to separate or divorce, how you conduct yourself can have a tremendous impact on your situation. Regardless of whether it is a collaborative or contentious divorce, and what stage you are in, keep the following in mind:
- Behave as you did when you were first courting your soon-to-be-ex (STBE)
- If you are on good terms, this will help move things along smoothly
- If it is a highly contentious divorce, this will throw off your STBE and likely drive them nuts while making you look good
- Act as though you are being filmed/watched when interacting with your STBE
- This will help you be conscious of your actions, and protect you if you are unknowingly being recorded
- Do not, under any circumstance, allow your STBE to get a rise out of you while interacting with them.
- This may be intentional, or unintentional, but do your best to remain cool, calm, and collected. You will have a chance to let yourself feel everything and plan a response later. There are very few instances requiring an immediate reaction, and often this will do more damage than good. If your STBE is really trying to get a rise out of you, see number 1 in this list.
- Remember that a lot can be changed by saying your sorry
- If at some point you break, a lot can be fixed by apologizing. This can even work to your advantage by demonstrating that you recognize you have faults, as does everyone else, and that are doing your best to make things right.